Mom Time, Parenting 202

Finding Moms Sanity

 

As a mom of multiple kids, there are some days I feel totally defeated. I often find myself looking at my kids wondering what I did wrong? Why in the world is their behavior so off the wall? Ever ask yourself those questions?

I’m a stay at home mom with two kids I homeschool, and two others that are going through the awful fours and terrible twos. For us, an average day is just not average. At times it seems like I can’t get any type of system down, or get all four kids on a reasonable schedule that doesn’t cause me to be at their beck and call twenty-four hours a day. To top it off, my five-year-old has ADHD and Oppositional Defiance Disorder, that essentially causes him to be a total terror every waking moment.

By the end of the day, I want to pull my hair out, drink an entire rack of wine, and quite possibly run away. But by the grace of God I manage to make it through every single day, but not without losing small pieces of my sanity each day.I’ve had to take small steps in finding time for myself.

When I got married I was dead set on being the very best wife a husband could ask for, and when we started having kids I thought I could be super mom too. All while working a full-time job and keeping our home fabulous. When we made the decision for me to leave the workforce and stay home with our kids I thought I had it made. Little did I know life would be busier than when I worked full time and still faced the same responsibilities as I do now. I still don’t understand how running a home is harder than working a full-time job. But it is.

I may not be able to get the little pieces of my sanity I lost back, but I can work to keep what I have left. Most women set out with the same or similar ambitions to be the perfect woman. Which includes being a rock star wife and superstar mommy. Until reality sets in and nothing is as it seems. Ladies, they lied to us in the movies, and in books. In general, society set us up for failure, pressing us to think we have to do everything perfectly once we domesticate our lives. It’s just not that simple nor is it possible. Once we accept that reality and that truth, life can get a little easier. Day by day we can find ourselves not just living in our lives but actually being apart of them.

It took me some time to see that I was so busy trying to get everything done and do it all so perfectly that I wasn’t present in the very life I was busting my butt so hard to build, and I was quite cranky doing it. Why have a life with a husband, kids, and a home, if you can’t enjoy it? Why be so caught up in having all the laundry washed, folded AND put away when the kids just want to go outside and enjoy the sun?

Yes, everything still has to get done. But…

  • You don’t have to do it all right then and there
  • Employ the kids to help out
  • Teach the kids how to put their clothes away or fold the washcloths
  • Get your man to step in and help

Enjoy the life you have, be present, and accept that sometimes you just have to let things go. They will be there waiting for you when you get to it. One thing is for certain, life is short and our kids will only be kids for so long. We have to relish in the present time we have with them now. Not only that, but it’s so important to find time for ourselves. I take the time I need for myself now. Because without my sanity and mental health everything around me is going to fall apart. Some months it’s a sacrifice my loved ones have to make in order to get that “me” time in, and it’s worth it. Lastly but certainly not the least, my husband and I recognize that time for him and I is more than necessary. Without that time the most important and most influential relationship in the house will crumble. Then what would we be teaching our children? What example would we be showing them? That a marriage comes second to everything else in the house. NO WAY! The marriage is THE foundation of the home and it is the most important relationship in the home. We believe that if this relationship is solid then we are teaching our children an exceptional value that is absent in today’s generation. This generations priorities have shifted, to say the least.

If you’re a mother, and you feel like you are drowning in that role, I’m certain you’re not alone. Think about everything as a whole, ask yourself am I getting enough time for me? Am I enjoying this life and everything its blessed upon me? Is there something I can let go of today so I can find some time for me or my family? I’d love to hear about what you chose to do with your time if you do! Leave a comment, let’s inspire each other to do great by ourselves too!

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(1) Comment

  1. I also am still figuring out being a stay-at-home-mom is harder than working a full-time job. I never thought I it was the path I’d choose, but I’m 3 and a half years into it now! You are so right that date night/time with your spouse is so important. It’s easy to forget and can be hard to arrange sometimes but it’s worth it!

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